Should you host a male au pair?

Key takeaways

• Male au pairs are exceptional caregivers and can bring strong childcare experience to their host families.

• Many children benefit from having a positive male role model and balanced representation at home.

• Male au pairs often bring high energy, making them well suited for active families and older children.

• Concerns about hosting a male au pair can be addressed through thoughtful matching, communication, and clear expectations.

Can a male be an au pair? The answer is a resounding yes!

While most Cultural Care au pairs are women, the number of men traveling to the U.S. to work as an au pair is growing. Male au pairs—or “bro pairs” as we’ve affectionately nicknamed them—are an important part of our community.  

Historically, families have matched with female au pairs more frequently. However, as parents are increasingly recognizing the value male au pairs bring as caregivers, role models, and playmates, many are considering male candidates.

Because fewer male applicants are accepted onto the au pair program, the ones who do make it into the matching pool often have many more childcare hours than the minimum required. They also typically have a wide variety of interests and strong leadership skills. This makes them exceptional caregivers.

Elena and Frank, who have hosted 13 au pairs over the years—including their last two male au pairs—found the experience refreshing. “After hosting many female au pairs, we thought our boys might benefit from a different dynamic,” says Elena.

Their current au pair, Nicold from Colombia, has quickly become an integral part of their family. “He has a genuine love for children and formed a remarkable bond with our three kids in no time. They see him as a big brother, and we all consider him a valued member of our family.”

Colombian au pair Nicold is considered a big brother to his three host kids

The Hertz family from Washington selected Rico, a male au pair from Germany, to care for their 3-year-old daughter and 1-year-old son, and the choice has proven to be a highly positive one.

Host mom Leah is especially thankful for Rico’s support during a challenging period for their family. “As a stay-at-home parent, he has been my right hand through it all. He has truly seen us at our best and at our worst.”

Leah cherishes the simple moments shared with Rico, such as watching him bake German dishes with her daughter and hearing him comfort her son during bedtime routines and diaper changes.

“We initially sought an extra pair of hands during a chaotic time, and as we near the end of our first year with him, we feel we’ve gained a lifelong member of our family.”

Rico, from Germany, is the Hertz family's first au pair

“Bro pairs” also serve as positive male role models for their host children. Single mom Melissa and her two boys, aged 14 and 12, have welcomed four male au pairs into their family, and the experience has been incredibly rewarding for all three of them.

Melissa describes hosting an au pair as “peace of mind, cultural exchange, friendship, mentorship, flexibility, and personalized childcare all rolled into one.”

Their most recent au pair, Sam from Italy, will be with them for a total of two years. According to Melissa, Sam has been an outstanding role model for her sons. She notes, “He has been their sounding board for pre-teen issues they clearly prefer not to discuss with me. Sam has kept me informed without compromising the boys’ trust and communication with him.”

Single mom Melissa has hosted four male au pairs including Sam, from Italy

The McGhee family from North Carolina has hosted nine au pairs, with their last two being male. Their current au pair, Santiago from Colombia, has made a remarkable impression on host mom Julie and her two sons, aged 14 and 10.

Julie shares, “We’ve stopped calling him our ‘au pair’; he has become their brother and taken on that elder brother role. He is their confidante, their counselor, their coach.” Santiago has been instrumental in helping his teenage “brothers” gain self-confidence and fostering a passion for soccer.

Colombian au pair Santiago has been a positive influence for both of his host boys

Debbi, a host mom in California, also values the impact of her Colombian au pair, Marco, who has become a positive role model for her three young boys.

Debbi describes Marco as “someone of incredible integrity and thoughtfulness. He cares deeply about respecting others, telling the truth, and continuously learning and improving.”

She adds, “Marco navigates the chaos of shouting preschoolers, endless laundry, and the challenges of the outside world with grace. His role as a role model and tireless contributor to our family has been invaluable, and we are profoundly grateful for the relationships he has built with each of us.”

Marco is his family's first "bro pair" and has set the bar very high

For families seeking a caregiver who can keep up with the energetic pace of active kids, hosting a male au pair can be an excellent choice. Samantha, a host mom in California, welcomed Jesse, her first au pair from Brazil, last year.

She shares, “We are so grateful that Jesse became part of our family. Even though it's only been a few months, we can't imagine our family life without his amazing positive attitude and energy. He’s constantly inventing fun games to keep the boys engaged—from massive Lego builds and Pokémon battles to soccer drills at the park and creative art projects. Our two boys, ages 10 and 7, greet him with huge bear hugs each morning and look up to him as both a role model and an older brother.” Stories like Jesse’s show the difference cultural exchange can make. If you’re curious about starting your own journey, you can find an au pair in California and welcome the same warmth, energy, and cultural richness into your home.

Brazilian au pair Jesse keeps his active host kids busy with games, sports, and art projects

Massachusetts mom Helen has hosted 11 au pairs over the years, including two male au pairs. Her current au pair, Herschelle from South Africa, has made a significant impact on her family.

Helen notes, “Herschelle’s enthusiasm for fitness has truly inspired us. He took Alex, our 12-year-old, to the Spartan Challenge, and I’ve never seen Alex beam with such pride after completing it. Claire, our 15-year-old, started field hockey last year and excelled, making the varsity team. Herschelle’s training undoubtedly contributed to her success.”

With the help of their au pair Herschelle, Helen's kids have excelled in their sports activities

There are a few challenges associated with hosting a male au pair, and one is managing societal stereotypes. Men are often portrayed as less capable than women when it comes to caregiving tasks, especially those involving emotional support or nurturing.

Another potential challenge with hosting a male au pair is that there are fewer potential candidates to choose from, making the ability to get a boy as an an au pair more competitive.

At Cultural Care, all au pairs—regardless of gender—complete a comprehensive 3-part training program designed to set them up for success as caregivers in the U.S. This includes self-paced online modules (MyAuPairCourses) that build foundational knowledge, followed by a 32-hour, online Au Pair Training School focused on child development, safety, first aid, and CPR. To ensure they’re culturally prepared as well, au pairs also attend pre-departure workshops in their home countries to better understand American family life and expectations. This structured preparation equips Cultural Care male au pairs with the skills and confidence to thrive in their role from day one.

While stereotypes may suggest that male au pairs are inferior childcare providers, feedback from our host families tells a different story. They find male au pairs to be just as competent and caring as their female counterparts—and sharing these experiences helps foster a more inclusive and supportive environment for all au pairs.

While it’s true there are fewer male au pairs in the candidate pool, starting the matching process early can increase your chances of finding someone who fits your timeline. Families are also encouraged to connect with their Matching Specialist for support with gender preferences in au pair matching.

Clear communication from the start helps build a strong foundation. Talk openly with your au pair about schedules, responsibilities, house rules, and family routines so everyone is aligned and set up for success.

Cultural Care Matching Specialists are reporting greater interest in male au pairs each year, likely due to shifts in gender roles and that fact that men are generally taking on more of the caregiving roles within the family.

Now that we’ve answered the question “can a male be an au pair,” are you ready to join the many families who’ve discovered the benefits of hosting a male au pair? Start your search now to find the perfect “bro pair” for your family!