For over a decade, Pooja Rao has hosted au pairs from around the world, welcoming eight amazing young people from eight different countries into her home in San Antonio, Texas. As both a seasoned host mom and a Local Childcare Consultant, Pooja has gained some real insights into the program—the joys and rewards, the impact of the cultural exchange experience on her kids, and the blessing of finding balance as a parent.
We sat down with Pooja to learn about her family’s journey.
Discovering the program and embracing the lifestyle
Cultural Care: What inspired you to start hosting au pairs, and why have you continued?
Pooja: We decided on getting our first au pair in 2013 when I had just had my third child. So we had three under three. My husband has a very difficult schedule and I was a stay-at-home mom at the time, and I really felt like I was drowning. And I think that really sold me on the program because I really just needed sort of an extra set of hands. We've continued because every au pair has given me an opportunity to finesse my schedule, finesse our needs for childcare, focus on different skills or milestones, educational milestones. And as the kids have gotten older and in school, now they help with drop-offs and pick-ups, and things like that.
The joys and unique benefits of hosting
Cultural Care: What’s the best part about hosting an au pair?
Pooja: Each au pair has been such an important part of our lives that I could cry just thinking about the answer to this question.
Our first au pair gave me back my time and my sanity with three under three. She was also so engaging with my kids, that sort of parenting guilt that you have when you step away from your kids and you're handing them off to a caregiver, I didn't have that—she was part of the family.
As the kids got older with my second and third au pair, those au pairs were really invested: teaching my kids about music and the very beginnings of language at that stage of life.
And then, as we moved to our fourth and fifth au pairs, that's when my kids started going to school, and the au pairs could take on those duties of drop offs and pick ups, helping a lot more with laundry and homework assignments, and things like that. So I was able to go back into the workforce and work outside of the home again.
And now when I get home at the end of the day, because a lot of those administrative priorities of childcare are taken care of by my au pair, I get to really connect and enjoy the time with my famile.
Cultural Care: What do you see as the biggest difference between having an au pair and a nanny, or sending your kids to daycare?
Pooja: Hosting an au pair is different than any other form of childcare because it doesn't feel as temporary or as formal. With an au pair, because you welcome them in as family, they treat your kids like family. I say that a lot, but it's not even just sitting on the couch watching a movie. It's going the extra mile. A lot of those things I haven't witnessed with other forms of childcare.
And if you choose a form of childcare that is outside of your home, you don't have very much say in what happens. You can't tailor that program to what you need for your kid. With au pair childcare, you can do that. You can tailor it to exactly what you need, train somebody in the exact way that you would like, and then you get the benefit of experiencing a completely different world for your kids, but also for you.
My kids have gone to eight different countries without ever leaving the USA. And it's more than just a five-day vacation somewhere. It's an entire year long experience.
Cultural exchange at its best
Cultural Care: How has hosting au pairs influenced your family’s culture?
Pooja: The foodie that I am, it always starts with food. We always ask the au pair to pick their favorite food, and then we would try to make it taste exactly like it would taste at home. And part of the fun of making those foods is that it's a total fail the first time around!
And then that that sort of leads into how do you celebrate holidays? Which holidays are you comfortable sharing with us? Which ones are you interested in learning about in regard to American traditions or Indian traditions?
And then it becomes language. So every week we have a word of the week. I will be lucky if I remember the words that we did last week, but the kids are really good at it!
Every au pair has left us a tradition or left us a funny phrase or something to remember them by. So that's how this shift in family culture happens. On Christmas Eve now, instead of doing a traditional American dinner we do this giant Austrian spread. It's the most glorified, amazing, grazing table you have ever seen!
Cultural Care: Do you see a difference in how your kids look at the world?
Pooja: My children now have this giant network of big sisters all over the world, on different continents and in different countries and time zones. And so now, when we want to catch up with an old au pair, and my kids are like “who can we call,” they’ll look at the world map and try to see what time zone our au pairs are in. You know, this one will be sleeping, but this one will be awake, and they’ll be like let’s call this person! I think that's kind of beautiful.
My children, from a very young age, have been able to articulate, be patient, and be kind. I know that is from welcoming au pairs into our home. I also think that their sense of humor is more worldly, the things that they are interested in, their passion projects, and so on. All of these things come from having au pairs.
Advice for new host families
Cultural Care: What advice would you give to families considering the program?
Pooja: Hosting an au pair is an investment. It’s about welcoming someone into your home and creating space for them to grow. It’s also about trusting the process. At first, things might feel awkward as you get to know each other, but over time, it becomes natural. The bond you build with your au pair, and the joy they bring to your home, is truly priceless.
Discover more tips from Pooja
Want to dive deeper into Pooja’s hosting journey and her tips for creating a global home? Tune into her full podcast episode here.