Finding the right childcare for your family can feel like a balancing act—you want the very best for your kids, but you also have to factor in convenience and cost.
For many families, hosting an au pair offers the ideal solution. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “What is an au pair? How do I find one? And how do I know if it’s the right fit for my family?”—you’re in the right place.
Here's everything you need to know about how to hire an au pair.
Why an au pair might be the best fit for your family
When choosing childcare, parents weigh many factors—quality of care, hours of coverage, convenience, educational value, cost, and more. On all counts, the au pair program stands out. Au pairs go through a thorough screening process, including CPR and First Aid training, and participate in a comprehensive orientation before arriving in the U.S. They can provide up to 45 hours a week (up to 10 hours a day) of flexible, in-home care tailored to your family’s schedule.
In addition to supporting your daily routine, au pairs bring cultural exchange to life—introducing your children to a new language, sharing their country’s holidays and traditions, and offering a global perspective.
And the best part is when you look at the comparison between an au pair agency vs. nanny or an au pair agency vs. daycare. In many parts of the country, the total cost of hosting an au pair is comparable to—or even more affordable than—these other childcare options.
What makes au pairs different from other childcare options?
The au pair program stands out from other childcare options in three key ways:
The role au pairs play within the family household
The program’s structure and regulations set by the U.S. Department of State
The cultural exchange experience
It's important to note that au pairs are not employees—they are meant to be welcomed as extended members of the family, included in daily life, and made to feel at home. The U.S. Department of State also oversees the program, setting clear regulations to maintain its integrity. These rules include the hours an au pair can be on-duty and their minimum weekly stipend. Finally, cultural exchange is at the heart of the program and has been since its start in the 1980s.
Understanding the cultural exchange aspect
The cultural exchange experience is one of most rewarding parts of the program for both families and au pairs. It creates space for mutual learning, deeper empathy, and personal growth that lasts well beyond the program term.
Host kids gain exposure to a new language and a different part of the world, broadening their horizons from an early age. Meanwhile, au pairs get to immerse themselves in American life while building valuable international work experience. Through joining an au pair program in the USA, they can travel across the U.S., form a lasting bond with a second American family, and return home with greater confidence, independence, and maturity.
Agency vs. DIY: which route should you take?
When families begin considering how to hire an au pair, one question tends to come up early: Can we find and hire an au pair on our own, without using an agency? While a DIY approach can work well for many things in life, this isn’t one of them. In fact, it’s not just challenging—it’s not allowed. Hosting an au pair in the U.S. requires going through a designated sponsor agency. That’s because the process of finding, screening, and welcoming an au pair into your home involves important legal, logistical, and safety steps that only an agency is authorized to manage.
Pros of working with an au pair agency
To legally live in the U.S. and provide childcare, au pairs must first obtain a J-1 cultural exchange visa. The only way to secure this visa is by going through a U.S. Department of State designated au pair agency such as Cultural Care Au Pair.
These agencies don't just know how to hire an au pair—they make the process easier: agencies handle the visa process, screen au pairs and host families, provide essential preparation courses for both parties, and set clear expectations for the year ahead. Au pair agencies also offer ongoing support, with local representatives, office staff, and 24/7 emergency assistance.
What to know about hiring independently
Families who attempt to welcome an au pair without the support of a designated agency won’t be able to do so legally. Working with an official sponsor is the only way to participate in the program without violating U.S. labor and immigration laws.
How to prepare your family before starting the search
Before starting your search, it’s important to consider whether the au pair program aligns with your family’s lifestyle and priorities—and to understand the associated costs and logistics.
Assessing your family’s lifestyle and needs
Ask yourself: Are we open to a live-in caregiver? Do we value cultural exchange and want our kids to learn about another part of the world? Could we offer a welcoming home environment? Hosting an au pair can be an incredibly rewarding experience, but it works best when families are clear on their needs, expectations, and readiness to invite someone new into their lives.
Au pair cost breakdown
Hosting an au pair is often more affordable than families expect—and in many cases, it’s comparable to or even less than the cost of daycare or a nanny. Since the cost doesn’t increase with the number of kids, it’s a particularly cost-effective solution for bigger families.
Families pay a program fee to Cultural Care Au Pair and a weekly stipend directly to their au pair. Additional expenses to consider include:
Room and board
Car insurance (if your au pair will drive)
A phone and phone plan
College courses (host families contribute up to $500 toward the au pair’s Education Requirement)
For more details on the cost of hosting an au pair, visit our website.
Creating a great host family profile
Once you decide to host an au pair, the first step is to download the Cultural Care app for iOS or Android. After creating an account, you'll build your family's profile, which will allow you to browse available au pairs and start connecting with potential matches.
What to include in your family profile
Your family profile is one of the most important tools in finding the right au pair match. It’s your opportunity to paint a clear, authentic picture of your family’s lifestyle, values, and what daily life looks like in your home. In the Cultural Care app, you’ll be prompted to share details like:
Family members: Introduce everyone, including your kids and their ages
Pets: Let au pairs know if you have pets and what they’re like
Schedule: Be as accurate as possible about your childcare needs—au pairs are especially curious about their on-duty hours
Driving needs: Explain how much driving will be required and under what circumstances
Interests and hobbies: Share what your family enjoys doing together
Home and community: Describe your living setup and what the local area has to offer
To really make your profile stand out, go beyond the basics. Au pairs want to know what makes your family special—and what they can look forward to.
Show your personality: Talk about your family’s values and what makes you unique; highlight any fun traditions, routines, or special parts of your town or city.
Include lots of photos: Visuals help bring your story to life—au pairs especially love seeing photos that include the whole family
Consider a short video: A quick intro video is a great way to make a warm, memorable first impression
Above all, be real. Au pairs are drawn to genuine, thoughtful profiles that show you’re excited to welcome them into your home—and into your lives.
Setting clear expectations for house rules
One really important part of your host family profile is outlining your house rules. Being upfront about your expectations helps avoid misunderstandings and ensures your au pair feels comfortable from the start.
Share your approach to things like curfews, overnight guests, use of shared spaces, and any other household routines that matter to you. Clear communication now sets the stage for a smooth, respectful living arrangement later and helps au pairs know what to expect before they arrive.
Finding and screening au pair candidates
The most reliable way to find the right au pair is by searching through your agency’s official database. These candidates have already been screened, meet all basic eligibility requirements, and are prepared to match with a host family.
At Cultural Care, our au pairs are selected from a global pool of applicants and represent diverse backgrounds, languages, and skill sets. Some families also browse platforms like AuPairWorld or Facebook groups to find available au pairs—but this approach can be risky. You won’t always know which agency they’re affiliated with or whether they’ve been properly vetted. And without matching support, you’re largely on your own.
Choosing a trusted agency like Cultural Care—which holds an “Excellent” rating on Trustpilot—gives you access to a full support system and a curated pool of ready-to-match au pairs.
Multi-step screening for au pairs
Every Cultural Care au pair goes through a multi-step screening process to ensure they’re ready to match.
This process includes:
A one-on-one personal interview
An English proficiency evaluation
Reference and background checks
An application covering childcare and driving experience, personality insights through the NeuroColor personality test, and a doctor-issued health confirmation
This information helps families find the right au pair and understand who they are—not just on paper, but as a person. It also ensures that every candidate in our matching system is fully prepared to join a U.S. host family.
Conducting a strong interview
Once you’ve created your host family profile and connected with an au pair you’re interested in, it’s time to schedule an interview—something you can easily do right in the Cultural Care app. This interview is your opportunity to get to know the au pair on a deeper level and assess whether they’re a good fit for your family in terms of personality, experience, and shared interests.
Au pair interview tips and best practices
Interviewing an au pair is different from interviewing a nanny or other job candidate, and it helps to approach the process with these best practices in mind:
Go slow and be patient: Most au pairs are speaking in a second language, and it may take time for them to feel confident
Ease their nerves: Start the conversation with a smile and some friendly small talk to help them feel more comfortable
Ask open-ended questions: This encourages more thoughtful responses and gives you a better sense of their personality and experience
Introduce the whole family: Whether all at once or over multiple calls, it’s important that your au pair candidates get the chance to connect with everyone in your home
Plan for at least three interview calls: Matching is a big decision, and it usually takes a few conversations to know if an au pair is the right fit
Questions that reveal personality and fit
To get the most out of your interview, it’s helpful to prepare a list of questions ahead that will help you assess whether an au pair is the right fit for your family. Be sure to touch on the following key areas:
General childcare experience: “How old were the children you’ve cared for before?”
Expectations around your family’s schedule and needs: “Are you comfortable with our family’s schedule?” (Review your weekly routine together to make sure you’re aligned)
Personality, maturity, and interests: “What are three things you’ve accomplished that you’re proud of?”
Experience with the specific ages and needs of your children: “What do you enjoy most about caring for babies/toddlers/school-aged kids/teenagers?”
What red flags to look out for
Trusting your gut is key during the interview process. If you don’t feel a natural connection, that’s often the biggest red flag.
Here are a few other signs to watch for:
Lack of engagement: The au pair seems distracted or uninterested in the conversation or your family
Struggles with English: Communication feels difficult or unclear, even with simple questions
No curiosity about your kids:The au pair focuses only on logistics or perks, without asking about your children or showing genuine interest in their lives
If something feels off, it’s okay to keep looking. Finding the right match takes time, but it’s worth the effort.
Understanding legal steps and visa rules
Because the au pair program is regulated by the U.S. Department of State, host families must meet certain legal requirements designed to protect participants and uphold the integrity of the program.
Requirements for U.S. host families
Host families are expected to provide the following for their au pair:
A minimum weekly stipend of $195.75 (this amount is set by the U.S. Department of State, and families must comply with any future increases)
A minimum of two weeks of paid vacation
Up to $500 toward the au pair’s educational requirement (also set by the U.S. Department of State and subject to change)
A reliable way for your au pair to get to local events and classes—this could be access to a car, public transportation, or a rideshare service
A phone and active phone plan
Beyond these logistical requirements, it’s essential to welcome your au pair as an extended member of your family. That means including them in family dinners and activities and being ready to offer support throughout the year, whether they need help navigating daily life in the U.S. or simply a listening ear.
Au pair contracts and work agreements
Before your au pair arrives, you’ll need to sign a Host Family Agreement with your agency.
This contract outlines your responsibilities to both your au pair and your agency, and ensures everyone enters the program with clear expectations.
By signing Cultural Care’s Host Family Agreement, you’re committing to:
Following all U.S. Department of State regulations for the au pair program
Providing your au pair with a suitable bedroom and the required minimum weekly stipend
Paying the program fee in full to Cultural Care
Limiting your au pair’s work to no more than 45 hours per week and 10 hours per day
Assigning only household tasks that are directly related to the children
Providing auto insurance if your au pair will be driving family vehicles
Offering at least two weeks of paid vacation per program year
Ensuring an adult is present during the first three days after your au pair arrives
Ensuring your au pair is not the sole caregiver for any child under 3 months old
Notifying Cultural Care of any changes to your address or household composition
Following Cultural Care’s rematch and refund policies
This agreement exists to protect both families and au pairs, and to help set the stage for a successful, supportive, and safe experience for all.
Host families are welcome to create an additional, personalized contract with their au pair, though it’s not required. In most cases, giving au pairs a House Rules document—using our template as a guide—and using the Host Family and Au Pair Communication Journal Cultural Care sends as part of the Welcome Box to document the schedule and weekly stipend payment, offers plenty of structure to help your au pair understand your expectations and set the stage for a successful year together.
Setting your au pair up for success
Beyond deciding if the program is right for your family and finding your au pair match, there’s plenty you can do to set your au pair up for success. One of the best places to start is with the online courses Cultural Care provides for host families. These quick, informative sessions offer invaluable insight into best practices and will help you feel confident and prepared by the time your au pair arrives.
The first week: orientation and expectations
Make your au pair’s arrival feel special! A warm welcome can go a long way, and it can be as simple as a handmade sign, balloons, or flowers at the airport. Since most au pairs arrive on a Friday, we recommend devoting as much of your weekend as possible to helping them settle in and start connecting with your family.
One parent must be home during your au pair’s first three days, which creates the perfect opportunity to help them acclimate. During that time, we suggest:
Giving a tour of your home and their new room
Sharing a special meal together to help them feel like part of the family
Driving them to key places like school, the grocery store, and the pharmacy
Including them in a family activity, like a game night or local outing
It’s also helpful to map out a schedule for the first few days, including time for your au pair to rest and recharge. That bit of structure helps set expectations and ease any first-week nerves.
Within 48 hours of your au pair’s arrival, your Local Childcare Consultant (LCC) will check in with both you and your au pair. They’ll also schedule a longer in-home visit within the first two weeks. This orientation is a great chance to review program guidelines, get questions answered, and make sure everyone is off to a great start.
Building trust and communication
Regular communication is key to a successful year with your au pair. A great way to stay connected is by setting up a weekly check-in—just the adults, without the kids around. These meetings are a chance to celebrate what’s going well, talk through any challenges, and make sure everyone feels supported.
It’s also important to get to know your au pair as a person. Building a strong relationship helps create trust and makes the experience more rewarding for both of you. Try:
Asking about their background, interests, and goals
Including them in family activities and outings
Spending one-on-one time together when possible
Even small gestures go a long way in helping your au pair feel valued and at home.
Planning for the unexpected
Most host families and au pairs form strong, successful connections. But, as with any close relationship, challenges can arise. With different personalities, expectations, and communication styles involved, it’s completely normal to hit a few bumps along the way.
If you find that you and your au pair aren’t getting along, the most important thing you can do is address concerns early. Open, honest conversations give you the best chance of understanding each other and finding common ground. Making a good-faith effort to resolve issues benefits everyone and helps ensure a more positive experience for your family and your au pair.
What to do if the match isn’t working
Despite everyone’s best efforts, sometimes a match between a host family and an au pair just isn’t the right fit. If issues can’t be resolved, you may enter the au pair rematch process. In that case, you’ll work closely with your LCC and Cultural Care staff to agree on your au pair’s schedule for the remainder of their time in your home.
You’ll also decide whether to continue with the program by matching with a new au pair, or to end your participation. If you choose to rematch, Cultural Care’s support team will help guide you through the process and connect you with candidates who may be a better fit for your family. If you decide to exit the program, you may be eligible for a refund according to the policy outlined in your Host Family Agreement.
While a rematch is never the goal, it can sometimes be the best step forward and Cultural Care is here to help you navigate it with clarity and support.
FAQs about hiring an au pair
How much does it cost to hire an au pair?
The estimated annual au pair program cost starts at $21,424, or about $1,785 per month. The total cost of hosting an au pair is calculated by adding the program fee paid to Cultural Care Au Pair ($11,245) and the minimum weekly stipend paid directly to the au pair ($195.75 per week, totaling $10,179 per year).
If you are a host family in Massachusetts, you must comply with MA state law regarding Domestic Workers. Please see the Massachusetts pricing page for more details.
As a host family, you should also factor in additional costs related to room and board, insurance (if applicable), contributions toward your au pair’s Education Requirement, and any other “extras” that will help make your au pair’s time in the U.S. more enjoyable. Host families typically find the cost of hosting an au pair to be comparable or even less expensive than daycare or nannies, especially in metro areas.
Can I hire an au pair without using an agency?
No. The au pair program is regulated by the U.S. Department of State and requires that all participants apply through an official sponsor agency. If you are curious about how to hire an au pair, remember this: au pairs cannot obtain a J-1 visa or legally participate in the program without going through a designated sponsor organization like Cultural Care.
What’s included in the au pair program?
When you join the au pair program, you agree to pay your au pair a minimum weekly stipend and a program fee to your agency. Cultural Care Au Pair, the largest au pair agency in the U.S., offers:
A multi-step screening process for all au pairs (including a personal interview, reference and background check, English evaluation, and NeuroColor personality assessment)
Pre-arrival training, including CPR and First Aid certification from the American Heart Association
Local and national support from Cultural Care staff, including 24/7 emergency assistance
365+ annual in-person and virtual events for au pairs and host families
All this, for as little as $1,785/month, gives families access to a flexible, in-home childcare solution with the added benefit of cultural exchange.
How long does the au pair hiring process take?
It depends. Most au pairs live abroad and need 6–8 weeks to complete their visa process, pre-arrival training, and travel. However, some au pairs are already in the U.S. and looking for a new host family, and these candidates can arrive much sooner.
To expedite the au pair hosting process, you can filter by availability in our app and on our website to find au pairs who fit your preferred timeline.
What happens if things don’t work out?
If you’re experiencing challenges with your au pair, contact your Local Childcare Consultant (LCC) or a Cultural Care team member. Most issues arise from personality differences or miscommunication and can be resolved with support.
If resolution isn’t possible, you can enter the rematch process to find a new au pair or choose to exit the program. We’ll help guide you through either option and issue a refund if applicable (as outlined in your Host Family Agreement).
Regardless of next steps, your au pair is expected to stay with your family until they transition to another host family or return home.