Kacy Andrews is the mother of the @messitttwins, who star on Fuller House, and their older brother, Sawyer. With three active boys in the house, Kacy and her family have found having an au pair, Gonçalo from Portugal, to be an absolute lifesaver.

Kaitlin Luker, Director at Cultural Care Au Pair, sat down with Kacy to talk about why they chose an au pair instead of a nanny or babysitter, what it’s like to host a young person from another country and why her kids love the experience so much.

Kaitlin: Our conversation today is all about your family and why you’ve chosen au pair childcare. How has hosting an au pair impacted your family?

Kacy: I love having an au pair, and I’d love to see more people host au pairs because it’s really been a game-changer for us. Parenting is so hard, and if there’s something you can do to make it a little bit easier, I say do it! It’s been the hardest job I’ve ever had, and the au pair program has been a lifesaver for us.

Kaitlin: Tell us a little bit more about you.

Kacy: I have three boys. You might have seen them—the twins anyway—on Fuller House, which is on Netflix. And then I have an older son who is 12. The twins are 6, about to turn 7, and I’m also a working mom. I had a job in an office up until COVID. And then I lost that job, reinvented myself, and now I work from home as a photographer and social media manager. I stay busy between managing a full-time job, a few side hustles, parenting, and everything else  

Kaitlin: Where did you first hear about the au pair program?

Kacy: A friend of ours hosted an au pair, and it just seemed great. She would bring their au pair with them on vacations, have them drop the kids off at school, and take care of child-related tasks and organizing around the house. I was like “Hmm, that looks really interesting." So I started asking her questions. And it just sounded like such an amazing program because of so many reasons.

  Kaitlin: So, what made you decide to go for it?  

Kacy: It was during the second to last season of Fuller House. And I got really tired of juggling babysitters. I was constantly having to figure out—okay, I need this babysitter for this time and this one for that time, and then this one for the weekend. It was a constant game of chess and if somebody backed out or got sick, it was a nightmare.

We are from the Midwest—my husband and I—so we don’t have family locally. So we rely on others to help us with childcare. And we had our oldest in after-school programs for a long time, which he didn’t like. As the twins got older and our needs became greater we needed more reliable childcare. I thought, “This is time to really think about doing this. Because we really need somebody we can rely on."  

Kaitlin: I think a lot of parents can relate to juggling so many schedules and babysitters for different days. Did you have any reservations when you thought about hosting an au pair?  

Kacy: I didn’t. My husband was not keen on sharing his house—his castle—with another person. And I know that’s a big reservation with a lot of families. You know, just sharing your space and sharing your household. Having somebody actually live with you is probably the biggest hurdle I think people might have with the program. But when I really laid it out for my husband, and just said, you know, there’s so many benefits, I was finally able to convince him to say let’s give it a shot. And I’m really glad we did. Now, we are going on our third year now with hosting an au pair!

Kaitlin: And were your husbands reservations about hosting an au pair resolved?

Kacy: Yes. He still has the same amount of privacy because our au pairs want their privacy, too. They have the same concerns and reservations coming to live with the host families . . . Both parties are really able to define how much privacy they want in the off-hours.

That's why, when you’re interviewing au pairs, to make sure you’re on the same page as far as how much privacy both parties would like. For example, some au pairs want family dinners. When I was interviewing, I was like “we don’t do family dinners. We’re just way too busy. . . so if that’s something you’re looking for and want, this isn’t the right fit for you."

It’s really about setting those expectations. We were able to find au pairs that really like their privacy. It’s not like we never see [our au pairs] on the off-hours, but for the most part, they like to live their own lives. They like to go out and do things with their friends. On occasion, we’ll say “Hey! We’re are having a family dinner tonight—I know it’s a rare occasion— but we’re having one, would you like to join?” And if they’re available and would like to, they do! And if they don’t or they’re busy, then it’s fine and they don’t. It’s very organic and natural and I would say my husband’s fears were quelled when he realized they like their privacy too!   Kaitlin: What does having an au pair provide that a nanny or babysitter doesn’t?

Kacy: There’s so much consistency with an au pair. They’re with you every day, and that reliability is huge. Plus, the cultural exchange aspect is incredible. My kids are constantly learning about Portugal, asking Gonçalo questions, and even picking up Portuguese words. It gives them a global perspective that they wouldn’t have with a local nanny or babysitter.

Kaitlin: What do the boys think of having an au pair?

Kacy: I mean, they love it! They have so much fun with the au pairs. Both Melinda and Gonçalo have brought a lot of energy. My husband and I—we’re Mom and Dad—and we like to have fun too, but we also have to hold the line and we can’t always be their playmate and doing fun stuff. And so to have a young adult in the house just brings about more energy and fun to their lives. Gonçalo will be out playing basketball with them or playing different games or reading books to them, or helping them with homework. I think that’s something they just think is a fun, cool thing.

Kaitlin: What advice do you have for families who are considering the program?

Kacy: I would say definitely go for it. It’s a great gift to your children. They get to see their friends more and have a lot more freedom and flexibility. And I get to see them more because now I’m working from home. So, when they get home from school, the first thing they do is run up to my office and give me hugs!

Kaitlin: And what would you say to families that have any reservations or hesitations—what should they do?

Kacy: Talk to other host families! Everyone’s experience is different, but once you find the right match, you’ll see the many benefits hosting an au pair can offer.