When au pairs stay with you for a year—or even up to two years—it’s likely they’ll face some challenging times, and as their host family, you’ll be there to support them. These challenges could range from typical culture shock or homesickness to more unexpected events like a difficult breakup, a family illness, or even a natural disaster back in their home country.

As a host parent, your role is crucial in offering comfort, guidance, and understanding. Here are some thoughtful ways to support your au pair during tough times, as shared by experienced Cultural Care host moms.

Be available and present

Your au pair will likely lean on you for support, so simply being there can make a huge difference. “During tough times for my au pair, I make it a priority to be more available to her,” says host mom Denaye Barahona Ph.D. “It’s all about being present and offering support whenever needed.”

Show empathy

Empathy is key to understanding what your au pair is going through. Host mom Denaye says, “These are young people, far away from their families. I’ve been in their shoes, and even the smallest challenge can feel overwhelming when you’re far from home.” Try to put yourself in their situation and be a comforting presence.

Connect with your au pair’s natural family

Sometimes it helps to involve your au pair’s natural family. Host mom Marcie Wolbeck, who has welcomed eight au pairs, shares, “I always let my au pairs know they can call home anytime. I also keep in touch with their families, which reassures everyone that they have support both near and far.”

Prepare your au pair’s favorite comfort food

Nothing says comfort quite like a favorite meal from home. Cultural Care staff member and host mom Andrea Birkel recommends, “Ask your au pair if there’s a special dish their family would make when they were feeling down. Offering to prepare it shows you care and want to make them feel at home.”

Gift your au pair small tokens of care

Thoughtful gestures can go a long way during tough times. “A small gift like new slippers or a bubble bath can brighten their day,” Andrea suggests. “It’s a way to show them things will get better and that you’re thinking of them.”

Encourage your au pair to practice self-care

Remind your au pair to focus on self-care during hard times. Make sure they’re eating well, resting, and spending time outside. Cultural Care Program Counselor Jeri Dufresne, LCSW, also recommends techniques like deep breathing to reduce stress and negative thinking.

Enlist the help of your LCC or a Program Counselor

If your au pair needs more support than you can provide, don’t hesitate to involve your Local Childcare Consultant (LCC) or a Cultural Care Program Counselor. These professionals can offer a listening ear and provide additional guidance during difficult times.

With your support and the resources available through Cultural Care, your au pair can overcome life’s challenges and grow from the experience.